One of the key ways to keep anxiety low, is to keep demands low, and in some cases it is necessary to drop all but the most essential expectations such as keeping themselves and others safe.īelow are some examples of everyday demands They include both things an individual does want to do, as well as doesn’t want to do, and tolerance of demands is highly dependent on anxiety levels. With PDA, pretty much EVERYTHING in life can be interpreted as a demand.ĭemands also fall into different categories like direct demands, indirect demands and internal demands. However when thinking about demands and expectations in relation to PDA you have to delve much much deeper than that. In fact the Cambridge Dictionary defines it as “to ask for something forcefully, in a way that shows that you do not expect to be refused”. Many people when you say the word “demand” imagine someone forcefully and sternly making a request of someone. When we understand what demands actually are, how many there are, and how they affect an individual with PDA it becomes clearer why an individual can easily reach the point of overwhelm and perhaps meltdown. Quite often people only see the extreme behaviours associated with this response, which due to a lack of understanding appear to come out of nowhere and without any obvious trigger. The simple existence of a demand creates anxiety and any expectation and pressure to comply with it, or when demands pile up to high, they can push an individual towards panic mode and the Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn response. When we see demand avoidance as anxiety driven, it leads us to approaches that help reduce anxiety rather than focussing on the resultant behaviour.Īs well as sharing many of the typical traits and challenges associated with autism (although they tend to present differently), PDAers experience extreme levels of anxiety around day to day life, in particular in relation to expectations and demands. They lead us towards approaches like reward and consequence and imposing an adults will over the child, all of which are extremely unhelpful in helping and supporting someone with PDA. The key point being anxiety driven! Demand avoidance is often mistaken for defiance, oppositional behaviour, wilfulness or stubbornness but these descriptors are at best unhelpful and at worst detrimental to the individual. It includes more advice and research on the topic.Pathological Demand Avoidance is an autism spectrum profile that is characterised by an anxiety driven need to avoid everyday demands and expectations, and maintain control. The National Autistic Society has a guide for parents and carers of children with PDA.Rewards highlight how compliant a child has been and this might be a negative thing for a child with PDA. But children with PDA may not respond well to them. Reward systems can work well for many children.Instead, you could ask: “how am I going to get this shopping from the car into the house?” Saying, “can you take some shopping into the house?” is a demand. Pose demands as a problem that needs solving instead of something they have to do.Make sure you include activities that you know they will find relaxing in their schedule. Try to plan out their day so they can avoid triggers, if possible. But you might be able to compromise on what they wear for the day. For example: not hitting other children is non-negotiable. Try to prioritise the demands that keep everyone safe. Prioritise the demands on your child, depending on how much they can cope with that day.It could be which people they spend time with, or the environment around them. Your child may be able to cope with demands more on some days than others.Some demands are completely silent, like raising your hand for someone to give you a high five. For example, saying “it’s already 8:30am” can be an indirect demand for your child to hurry up. These might seem small and insignificant but can be just as tough. Spend some time thinking about the demands on your child. Make sure you speak to your GP or the Special Educational Needs Co-ordinator (SENCo) at your child’s school. The sooner you can recognise the behaviours, the sooner you can look for support.
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